No, I haven’t disappeared from the internet completely.  Hopefully NTT and Yahoo!BB will cooperate long enough to grant my home with an internet connection.  Until then, I’ll have to rely on a semi-spotty connection from the neighbor’s house.  Once I’m back online (at home), I’ll be sure to write a bunch of updates.

Until then, Happy Canada Day!

Happy Canada Day!

In an effort to pull Canada out of a severe economic slump, the three main opposition parties of Canada have agreed to join forces in order to pass a series of bills aimed at keeping the nation’s economy strong and vibrant in this difficult time. This new conglomerate, which has been contractually agreed to be championed by none other than Stephane Dion of the Liberal Party, will see the strong-willed Partie Quebecois and the ‘For the People’ New Democratic Party work together in a way that has never been seen before in Canadian politics. Although each of these parties has very different agendas, they’ve all agreed that it’s in the nation’s best interest to usurp power from the recently re-elected minority government and do what’s best for everyone.

Steve Jobs v2.0?

Although some fellow Canadians, such as Michael McKinlay, has referred to this new mega-party as an “Unelected Retard Government,” I’m forced to disagree.

Before the temporary democratic amalgamation contract was finalized last week, Stephane Dion was expected to resign his position as the Liberal Party leader. This was not only due to the lack of public opinion for the man, but also because he had failed to lead the Liberals effectively to gain more support and win either of the last two elections. However, now that the Prime Minister’s Office is just an arm’s reach away, Dion has agreed to stay on and lead the country out of its economic turmoil with his clear vision and superb management skills.

And where have we heard this before? Ah, yes … at Apple Computer!

Around the world people have looked to their politicians to be more like Obama; a man who is not only well spoken but projects the image that one would expect for the leader of a nation. Stephen Harper, while having some years experience as the leader of one of the world’s largest nations, does not project the same type of confidence and cool that the general population has come to expect from their leaders. But there is a problem with following too closely in Obama’s footsteps: people will argue that Canadian leaders lack their own style and must emulate other popular figures in order to win the hearts and minds of the citizens.

So, rather than go with an Obama-like image, the New Democratic Mega-Partie du Canada will do one better: they’ll go for a Steve Jobs image.

It makes so much sense, too!

After Apple fired Mr. Jobs in the 90s, the company stagnated to the point of bankruptcy. Upon the return of The Steve, everything became sleek and happy, with a throng of loyal followers who are often poised and ready to defend their stylish sweater-wearing leader unto the ends of the Earth! Perhaps the same will work for Mr. Dion….

After the people (kind of) fired the Liberal Party in 2006 by giving Harper’s conservatives their first minority government, the Liberal Party became stagnant. Living off the very same platforms and principles that had won it elections in the early-90s when the world was a safer and happier place. But people don’t want to hear about re-hashed health care and education packages with promises of government reform. They’ve heard that all before! Instead, what people want is a little passion, some sleek lines, and woefully incompetent leaders to release expectedly inadequate products at inexplicably high prices in an effort to whet the general public’s appetite for the next version.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that Stephane Dion is the right man. Who else could pull off being a Canadian Steve but Stephane? It’s genius, I tell you.

Uniting All, Under One Party

Yet, despite this interesting turn of events, the real reason behind the creation of this New Democratic Mega-Partie du Canada is not to make Stephane Dion the country’s next Prime Minister. No, that would be too logical. Instead, the idea is to force the Canadian public into realizing just how foolish they’ve been since voting Brian Mulroney out of office.

Until recently, the country has flip-flopped between extremes. Rarely was a minority government put into power. Instead, the public would wait until a political party did something to get us angry enough to actually leave our homes on Election Day, and then we’d vote in the opposite party. That’s how the system was designed to work, and it’s worked quite well for almost 142 years. However, by electing two minority governments in a row, the Canadian people are asking all of the political parties in the House of Commons to cooperate to reach the best decisions for the nation at large. Since that’s obviously against the best interests of each party’s agenda, they’ve been mostly deadlocked on all but the most obvious of issues.

So what’s the best way out of this predicament? It’s simple: give the voters a reason to pick just one party.

This is the genius behind this New Democratic Mega-Partie du Canada.

The Liberals are now completely in bed with Satan (a.k.a. The Partie Quebecois and the New Democratic Party). The Bloc Quebecois are now teamed up with their sworn enemies, the English. And the New Democrats have allied with the very people they swore to fight tooth and nail, the Liberals. By doing this, each of these three parties have spat in the face of their constituents, negating any chance of being re-elected in their ridings.

Final outcome: a Progressive Conservative Super Majority.

A Land of Extremes

Canada has been called a melting pot for cultures and people, and it’s certainly true when we tour the bigger cities in each of the country’s wonderful provinces. However, unlike these mega-cities of differing people, the government has always required a certain type of extremism in order to function on any level. We can’t have a minority government for any length of time, just like we can’t let the Natives get fair compensation for all the inhuman things we’ve done to them since the early 16th Century.

So by taking these extreme measures during his final months in politics, Stephane Dion is paving the way for a decade of leadership from a Progressive Conservative super majority in the Canadian Parliament.

Thank you, Mr. Dion.

Well … that’s what I’d be saying if I were actually in Canada this year. Instead, I’ll use it as a passing joke with all the Canadians I happen to see at work today. Rather than enjoy the first day of July with friends, family and fireworks, we get to work in the sweltering heat, humidity and something else that starts with “H” to earn a living.

Oh well … could be worse, right?

Rather than celebrate this Canadian National Holiday traditionally in Japan, I think everyone in this country should try something different. I’m following Japanese tradition and thinking right inside the box with this one: Random Day!

So much in this ancient country is downright random that we might as well celebrate our native land’s day of confederation with something that could bring the two nations together. It doesn’t matter what we do, either … so long as it doesn’t break too many laws

For me, I think I’ll start the day by going to work in crocs, with a hot-pink necktie wrapped around my head like a bandana. To further exemplify the “typical Japanese 20-something guy”, I’ll spike my hair to look something akin to Sonic the Hedgehog and tease it on the train for the last half-hour of the journey into Nagoya. From there, I’ll drink my coffee with a silly-straw while wearing some style of sunglasses that scream “Elton John in the 70′s” as an iPod plays Benny and the Jets nearby.

What’s interesting about all of this, though, is that I likely wouldn’t attract a second glance in this country … until people noticed I was foreign. Either way, it’s one of the most random things I could think of at a moment’s notice. What kind of random things would you do if given the opportunity?

Transport Minister Jean Lapierre has admitted that Canada’s effort will be quite modest in comparison to the programs in place elsewhere, such as the United States, but it has already raised alarms with some groups as Canadian cizitens have been mistakenly refused boarding for their flights.  As of this writing, Canada’s list is reportedly “fewer than 1,000 names”, whereas the U.S. counterpart has blossomed to more than 44,000.

The U.S. has used a no-fly list for a few years due to the 9-11 atacks in both Washington and New York.  When asked why Canada is still reviewing some security issues, the Transport minister replied that it had to do with legalities.  The government is not willing to implement any form of racial our country-of-origin profiling, which is a bonus, and according to a post I found on cbc.ca, there are three reasons a person may be placed on this list:

• An individual who has been involved in a terrorist group and who, it can reasonably be suspected, will endanger the security of any aircraft or aerodrome, or the safety of the public, passengers or crew members
• An individual who has been convicted of one or more serious and life-threatening crimes against aviation security
• An individual who has been convicted of one or more serious and life-threatening offences and who may attack or harm an air carrier, passengers or crew members

Unfortunately, there is very little information about this list online for the moment.  I’m not really concerned whether I’ll be on this list at this point, but I do wonder what would happen if someone else with the same name was wanted for some felony.  Would I be prevented from leaving Canada?  I hope to be working in Japan before the end of this year, so could the actions of someone else put my employment in jeopardy?

I’d like the Canadian government to make the No-Fly list available to citizens in some online format.  It would naturally need to be secure, since we wouldn’t want to go to a site and see a list of a thousand people that couldn’t fly for whatever reason, but I would be willing to enter a secure https connection and enter some personal data such as my SIN and earnings from last year in order to get a Yes or No answer regarding my status.  This way, if my name did raise an alarm, I could get in touch with the proper authorities long before my flight is be slated to take off.

I grew up in Southern Ontario, spending much of that time about an hour’s drive away from Niagara Falls.  In the 22 years I had spent in the province, I had seen The Falls maybe half a dozen times.  Each time I had gone with friends, but never girlfriends.  Because of this, we would often go just to watch people or visit one of the many nudie bars that lay on the outskirts of the city.

Seeing The Falls themselves was alright, but not much fun.

So when Reiko and I visited Niagara Falls with some of my family today, I was quite surprised with how much I enjoyed the trip.

Driving there from Simcoe took two hours, and after arriving we had some lunch.  The weather was great, and the light breeze picked up the mists generated by The Falls and blew it across the picnic area.  Even with this cold water hitting us for the first hour or so, the day was remarkably warm.  From there we managed to take several hundred photos as we walked both above the ground, and below.  One of the attractions allowed us to walk behind the falls, and this was enjoyable as we could get right close to the water and see some of the snow that had built up in the morning.  We also treked up Clifton Hill to take in some of the sights, and even enjoyed a brief Ferris Wheel ride.

After all this, I’m still surprised that Reiko managed to stay awake.  She had just come from a Tokyo to Toronto direct flight the day before, with a four hour train ride beforehand.  With the excessive time differences, she had woken up several hours before anyone else.  And add to that the nervousness she had felt for meeting some of my family … I’m really surprised she didn’t pass out mid-afternoon.

Maybe that’s why she chased after the squirrels ….

I’m glad that we could make the trip to Niagara Falls during the short stay in Ontario, and I’ll be sure to bring Reiko again if we get the opportunity to stay longer.  There are quite a few places in that province that I had never really understood as being “special”, though I’m certain that everything will be at least a dozen times better with my Reiko.

The flight to Toronto was relatively uneventful, with just occasional discomfort from the people next to me.  The plane managed to arrive 45 minutes ahead of schedule, and this was certainly some good news as I really needed the bathroom.

I will admit that I was quite surprised by the lack of WiFi at Pearson International, though.  For an hour after landing, I was sitting at a coffee shop trying to get in touch with the world and I couldn’t find so much as a stray signal from a local McDonald’s.  Oddly enough, I was even having trouble with my Rogers GPRS data connection at the coffee shop.

Just to add some adventure to the trip, it seems that I had gotten every detail about Reiko’s flight to Toronto wrong.  I had landed in Terminal 3, and was expecting her to arrive at the international wing of the same terminal only an hour later.  Almost 90 minutes after she landed, we finally contacted each other via cell and found that she was actually in Terminal 1.  By this time I had already met up with my father and step-mother, so we made the trek to the other terminal and met up with my Reiko-chan.

Ah, what fun.  I wonder what would happen if Reiko and I could go 1 trip without some kind of adventure at the very start.  Hopefully the rest of the week will be enjoyable.

Tomorrow we go to Niagara Falls, and I’ll be taking lots and lots of pictures.  Later on, I’ll start posting to a new album in the photo gallery.