Lage HerniaThis morning I woke up with some pretty severe lower back pain.  The kind of pain that makes you say “Oh, I guess I can’t bend at the waist today.”  It’s not unusual, and it’s something I’ve lived with off and on for the better part of 15 years.  However, today my body decided to be an おじいさん and give up the ghost.

Late this afternoon the Mrs. and I make a trip to the local chiropractor who ran some quick tests and quickly came to the conclusion that I have a hernia.  The first thing that went through my head was Weird Al Yankovic’s rip on James Brown’s “Livin’ In America” song, which kinda helped relieve my stomach of the bottoming out feeling it gets whenever a doctor delivers news that will result in a few days off work.  Thinking back to the chorus, the Weird Al’s take on the situation isn’t far off:

Living with a hernia
Hurts me bad in a tender location
Living with a hernia
Had enough humiliation
Living with a hernia, yow
Got to have an operation

Ow, I live with a hernia
Can’t get up, can’t bend over
Now I live with a hernia

I’m not going to need an operation at this point but, like the fair maidens of years long gone, I will need to wear a corset.  The nice thing about this incredibly tight garment is that it makes hiding “metabolic syndrome” all the easier.  No longer will it be necessary to consciously suck my gut in every time a woman is within visual range.

Unfortunately, this means that I’ll be stuck at home for the next few days while my back recovers … which means that I’ll be studying a lot of Japanese and trying my best not to go stir crazy as I’m forced to remain in one position for too long.

Then again, if I’m forced to stay (mostly) immobile, this will be a good opportunity to work on some programming projects that I’ve fallen behind on.

Have you ever suffered from this kind of problem?  What’s the best way, going forward, to ensure another 70+ years of spinal operation?