It’s hard to believe that December is here and another year is about to begin.  To celebrate this occasion, I’ve decided to share a list of fun things you can do at work to pass the time.  These can be done at any company, but it’s really fun if you happen to be the only foreign person in the office.

Feel free to add to the list:

  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
  3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions “to keep them tuned up.”
  6. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”
  7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
  9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  10. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
  11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  12. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  13. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  14. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  15. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  16. Honk and wave to strangers.
  17. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  18. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  19. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  20. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    “DO YOU HEAR THAT?”
    “What?”
    “Never mind, it’s gone now.”
  21. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  22. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
  23. Ask people what gender they are.
  24. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  25. Sing along at the opera.
  26. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
  27. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”

Ah, the things we do to keep ourselves entertained ….